Posted on by Wallis Landrum (Wally) · 1 Comment

Labor Day  Sept. 2, 2024

Once I thought of it, I tried to thank my mom each Labor Day; her labor gave me life. Although she died in 1998 I still say thank you for my life and life lessons, but I struggle to find just the right words without Hallmark making manufactured “Labor Day” Cards.

The morning of her labor in 1997, my wife and I labored to find just the right words of appreciation for our son’s birthmother. Hallmark didn’t have pre-written birthmother cards, so we had to express our own feelings with “sighs too deep for words”.

Her extended family were so supportive of our adoption that they gave our son a baby shower on his “birth” day. Their hospital room overflowed with her family, love, gifts, and support. We also gave our son’s birth mother caffeine sodas, skinny clothes, love and appreciation. We maintained contact through the adoption agency so that twice a year we thanked her with letters and pictures. After ten years, we helped out son begin to write years of thank-you notes about his life.

I would much rather write her the thank you notes than a questionable judge or intrusive politician. I am thankful she chose life, and I am thankful she had the freedom to choose. I am more than grateful that when she had a constitutional right to choose, she made the choice she did. How would we thank her if the decision were forced upon her? Would our son have entered the world with resentment instead of love?

When have you impacted another person’s life with a difficult choice you made? How much do you trust others to make good choices in their lives? Where do you spend most of your energy – trying to control other lives, or working on your own?

Posted on by Wallis Landrum (Wally) · 3 Comments

Right to Pray Right Aug 28, 2024

At 17 I asked myself whether God had spared my church and my home when the 4/3/74 tornado did damage all around both. Had I done something right to be rewarded? Had others suffered God’s wrathful punishment? Should I thank God for sparing “me and my house” who serve the Lord our way, while punishing those outside my “tribe”? Is it just to pray, “Thank you God for sparing me and destroying them”?

When I read Matthew 5, I see that God gives the sun’s warmth and the rain’s nourishment to the just and the unjust, the nice and the nasty alike. God doesn’t play favorites and neither should I by only loving the lovable. 

As a teacher of “Becoming a Love and Logic Parent” I learned that allowing consequences to befall behavior is more effective than rewards and punishments. I came to believe that God’s ways are not transactional – the art of the deal. God’s ways are relational – compassionately suffering with us as we learn and mature through the consequences of our choices.

I am thankful that I have the right to pray anywhere, anytime. I am thankful I have the right not to be preyed upon by those who force their prayers on me. I seek to use my right to pray to pray right. When I request something from God, I talk to God about how it might affect others.

A rabbi’s deep wisdom asked me a question, “If you are heading home, and you see smoke coming from your neighborhood, is it ethical to pray, ‘O God, don’t let it be my house.’”

How do you answer the rabbi’s question? Where do you see God portrayed as punishing us BY our sin (consequences) instead of FOR our sin (retribution)? Which God are you drawn to?

Posted on by Wallis Landrum (Wally)

Inspiring Neighbors 082424

50 years ago, April 3, 1974, a tornado devastated most of our neighborhood in East Louisville. Without electricity analog clocks read 4:42 for over a week; without food or water my wealthy neighbors were desperate; without structural support homes lay in ruins; without trees our vision was expanded. 

Our church, Second Presbyterian, sat on a hill that the tornado bounced around. Everyone lifted our eyes to the church on a hill for help. Major Mott of the Salvation Army arrived with generators, water, food, and caring leadership. He didn’t say, “I alone can fix this”; he didn’t try to con money out of our suffering; he didn’t denigrate anyone for who they were; he didn’t wall off suggested solutions; he didn’t complain about an inconvenience dulling his image. 

He did divide us — by dividing us into teams to work as one community to help all our neighbors. Some cooked meals, some moved water tanks, some helped search for valuables, some collected bricks to recycle. Me? I climbed on remaining roofs to place protection preventing further damage. I was inspired to do what I had never done before — climb a ladder onto my first roof, then my second, then my third….. all to do something to help strangers move into transformed futures.

When mom’s friend looked up and said, “Wallis, how did you get up on that roof?” I yelled down, “I don’t really know how I got up here!” I didn’t know at 17 what I know now. I was lifted up there because of loving servant leadership in the name of Jesus who came “not to be served but to serve.” 

Who inspired you to do something you’d never done before to improve lives? When have you helped neighbors you didn’t know before? Where have you found hope in devastating events?

Posted on by Wallis Landrum (Wally)

Love Can Build a Bridge 08-20-24

This week, Nancy and I were blessed to travel with 24 Missouri friends to Grand Cayman. We had arranged our days around Paul & Julie Overstreet as he gave private performances at each sunset — on the beach, in a bar, on a sailboat. I knew many songs Paul wrote, but I learned that he co-wrote with Naomi Judd and John Barlow Thomas “Love Can Build a Bridge”.

I told Paul that when I heard about the Judds farewell concert in 1991 and Naomi’s hepatitis C that was making her weak and her lifespan uncertain, I watched it live on TV (now on YouTube). The last song was Naomi’s farewell: “love can build a bridge between your heart and mine, love can build a bridge, don’t you think it’s time.” 

When a choir came out and Wynonna belted out the “bridge” to the song: “When we stand together, it’s our finest hour; we can do anything, keep believin’ in the power,” I lost it. I sat in front a TV with two singers I didn’t know and a song I’d never heard before, and I wept slobbering tears. Maybe it was their authenticity, the beauty of the song, the ill farewell, my marriage bridge crumbling.

Just before saying, “It’s been quite a ride,” Naomi reassured her daughter with the words: “I believe in love; and I believe in hope” and she looked up to God; that only added to my flowing waters, because I still believe in love over indifference and hope over despair.

As a caring human being, I don’t trust people who build walls of separation and tear down others with cruel attacks. As a disciple of Jesus, I seek to be a bridge builder recalling that faith, hope, and love can build a bridge, because we can do anything, anything when we stand together…. don’t you think it’s time?

Which song moved you the first time you heard it? (I invite you to share your story with a person you trust.) When have you been fully present to an event that was so authentic you felt a part of that community? How are you seeking to stand together with others to be love’s bridge builder. 

Posted on by Wallis Landrum (Wally)

Clergy Killer Response Aug 14, 2024

The book I read in 1999, Clergy Killers by Lloyd Redinger, (Westminster John Knox Press, 1997) lists on page 9 the 6 D’s that flawed and fatal bullies faithfully follow.

  1. Destructive: Clergy killers are marked by intentional destructiveness. They don’t just disagree or criticize, they insist on inflicting pain and damaging their targets. Their tactics include sabotage, subverting worthy causes, inciting others to do their dirty work.
  2. Determined: Clergy killers don’t stop. They may go underground or change tactics, but they will find ways to intimidate and break any rules of decency to accomplish their destruction.
  3. Deceitful: Clergy killers manipulate, camouflage, misrepresent, and accuse others of their own tactics. Their statements and negotiations are not trust-worthy. As masters of disguise they present themselves as pious members, who are “only doing this for the good of the church.” Often they convince naive parishioners that they are raising legitimate issues.
  4. Demonic: Clergy killers are evil and may be mentally disordered, depending on how you define behaviors that do not yield to patience and love, or honor human decency. Other leaders become symbols and scapegoats for the internal pain they feel.
  5. Denial: Most of us don’t want to admit to the reality of clergy killers, nor do we acknowledge the intentional damage they cause. Members who believe “this shouldn’t be happening in the church,” convince themselves it isn’t really happening or their threats and terror tactics aren’t that bad; this gives unrestrained power that leaves the church vulnerable.
  6. Discernment: This is the prescriptive sixth “D.” The spiritual gift of discernment is God’s grace that opens eyes to see and understand evil. Discernment is followed by confronting evil, which works best, of course, in a healthy community of faith. (End quote)

Like any body/organism, the best way to overcome a cancer is to strengthen the health of the body. Leaders who recognize this type can act with humor, hope, joy, and compassion (not with a return of violence, prejudice, and hate) to allow God’s grace and love to flow through the community. As with any system, non-reactive and steady leadership builds healthy communities. 

Although this was written 27 years ago for church communities, what speaks to you about whatever communities are yours? How does naming and confronting evil with peace, love, joy, and hope lead to an abundant life? Who in your life’s experiences dod you recall from this type?

Posted on by Wallis Landrum (Wally)

Clergy Killers August 13, 2024

In 1999 a pastor in a “Healthy Congregations” workshop told us about a man who told his board, “A lot of people are complaining to me about our pastor.” The board members wisely asked him to identify “a lot of people,” but he refused to name them — “to preserve confidentiality”. They asked for specific examples of complaints; he refused to give them — only generalities. He threatened the board, “You’d better take action because so many of these important members will leave the church and take their donations with them.”

After an investigation, when no evidence was found to back up the threats, the bully relentlessly escalated — accusations now went from he’s not visiting enough to financial and “maybe” sexual abuse. Some wondered what truth there might be to these attacks. The pastor doubted himself and his call to be a servant leader. After his heart attack, when he swore that “the whole church is against me”, it was revealed it was two cruel people who brought the carnage and chaos.

That’s when I read the book Clergy Killers that had been published in 1997. I learned how often clergy killers bully their way to power in a church. When pastors think the whole church was against them, it is almost always 2 or 3 — what we began to call a TLG (that little group).

From the introduction to the book: People rightly often criticize and disagree with their minister, but clergy killers are intentionally destructive. Whether you call them mentally ill or evil, they insist on inflicting pain and damaging their targets. They call on others to do their dirty work, subvert worthy causes, lead acts of sabotage, and cause their victims to self-destruct.  (Pg 9 Clergy Killers: Guidance for Pastors and Congregations Under Attack, G. Lloyd Redinger, 1997, Westminster John Knox Press).

Have you ever experienced someone bent on destruction who says “somebody should look into” some false accusation? What is it about a church that allows clergy killers to gain so much power? Read the book, or stay tuned if you want to learn some positive ways to respond.

Posted on by Wallis Landrum (Wally)

Bearing Fruit  August 12, 2024

In one of the seven authentic letters the Apostle Paul wrote in the New Testament, Paul says to the church at Galatia (Galatians 5 for those playing at home) that for freedom God has has set us free in the loving way of Jesus. He warns: do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.

Paul writes 2000 years ago that “the works of the flesh are obvious…. adultery, impurity, licentiousness, enmities, strife, jealousy, anger, quarrels, dissensions, factions, envy, and things like these.” Those behaviors remain obvious today by those convicted of abuse of power, who divide with fear, who are only faithful to themselves, and whose lies reveal crowd envy.

But then Paul continues with the positive: “By contrast, the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against such things.” You can never be legally indicted for bearing any of the fruits of the Spirit.

These are not the “gifts of the spirit” — something you inherit or receive. These are fruits — something you cultivate, seek, enjoy, show, and are nourished by as you grow in love and service to God and all humanity.

Friends of mine at “Life in the Trinity Ministry” decided Protestants need prayer beads too; Catholics shouldn’t have a monopoly. For ten years I’ve used the 9 beads to pray for the grace to cultivate the 9 fruits of the sprit in my life.  Over time, that one spiritual practice can be transformative.

Where do you see freedom and joy expressed right now? How are you attracted to people who bear the fruit of kindness and self-control? How do you seek to cultivate love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control in your life? 

Posted on by Wallis Landrum (Wally) · 2 Comments

Getting It July 24, 2024

Tuesdays with Pauline were spent in the company of our black maid who cleaned our home during my childhood. I remember Pauline’s laughter, her chess pie, her discipline, her love, but I don’t remember her crying…. except once. The second Tuesday of April 1968, I was home from fifth grade watching a funeral procession on our color TV. It reminded me of the one I had watched in first grade on our black and white. Pauline sat with us, shedding so many quiet tears her apron was soaked.  I remember hugging her, but I really didn’t get it.

Twenty years later, the thickest book on my shelf was “A Testament of Hope – The Essential Writings and Speeches of Martin Luther King, Jr.” Unlike too many books around it, I actually read this one — moved by his poetic prophetic preaching. During their annual meeting, the fourth week of April 1988, I was given the Mexico Missouri “NAACP Drum Major for Justice Award”. “Why me?” I asked, “I wasn’t even a ‘C’ in the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People.” The presenter replied, “Honey, we’re ALL colored by God — there’s just a variety in the complexion.”  I still didn’t get it.

Four years later, the last week of April, my friend and co-leader of youth events was my roomie at a training event at Montreat. The fact that Keith was African American only mattered when we awoke to the news of riots after the Rodney King verdict and I experienced his first reactions. Maybe I was beginning to get it.

The following December Keith and I were at a national training event in Kansas City for “God’s Gift of Human Sexuality” parent and youth curriculum.  After eating with a group at KC’s Country Club Plaza, I drove Keith to the Alameda Plaza, a ritzy hotel on a hill with an outstanding view of the Plaza Christmas Lights. As we walked in I said, “We’ll just ride the elevators up to a top floor and look out at all the lights below and come back down.” Keith said, “I don’t think we should, Wally.” I said, “O come on, Keith. It’s great. Just look like you’re going to your room and catch the view from a hall window. I DO IT ALL THE TIME!” With fear and frustration on his face and in his voice, Keith said, “Obviously you don’t do it in my skin!” I think I got it.

What is your experience of my story?  Whatever “getting it” means to you, what has helped you to or blocked you from “getting it.”

Posted on by Wallis Landrum (Wally)

First Impressions  July 17, 2024

I’m not as sure I was a child of the 60’s, as I know I was a child in the 60’s.  In first grade on a fall Friday, my principal Miss Lewis told my teacher Miss Goodwin to tell our class that our president was dead.  I didn’t fully comprehend the impact of the news — as if I could at any age. 

Two days later, as we arrived home from church, dad turned on the TV in time to watch the assassin shot dead in Texas — live on TV.  It was a first for both of us.  I noticed the shooter wore a hat just like my dad had worn to church.  I remembered the day before on the same TV I watched the Lone Ranger shoot a bad guy in Texas, but that guy lived.  The event that started where they store school books led to school canceled on Monday.

My journey would soon include hearing crazy conspiracies about what had changed history until each conspiracy was quashed with explanation and experience.  In a decade I’d visit Dallas and remember the Dealey Plaza as much as I remembered attending the Cowboys-Dolphins Thanksgiving Day game. I learned that I couldn’t control life; the actions another can change everything in an instant.

As I have witnessed many other unreal events happen before my eyes, I’ve stopped to ask myself: “How are first graders seeing this?”  What impact will this have on their lives?  How will they see the world based on this first impression? In 2021, on the church’s Epiphany Day, I wondered how children would come to view our nation’s capital and what crazy conspiracies they’ll face in their futures.

I’ve heard it said: “you only get one chance to make a first impression.” Maybe we get a lifetime of chances to grow beyond it.

Describe a first impression that impacted your life.  How old were you?  How were you affected?  What have you firmly held onto?  How have you grown and changed to allow some first impressions to fall away?