Posted on by Wallis Landrum (Wally) · 6 Comments

Omnipotence 012525

I returned home from college for my 21st birthday. Our family spent the day burying my cousin who was senselessly killed at 24 when a speeding car ran a stop sign. That was the day I began to let go of God being omnipotent (omni=all, complete, total + potent=power, influence, effect).

How could an all-powerful and all-loving God allow my cousin to be killed? She was a devoted Christian on her way to teach aphasia stroke patients how to speak again; she had a lot to live for and a lot of empathy, compassion, joy, and love to share.

If God is an uncaring, greedy, manipulative, vindictive, authoritative tyrant then we need no further explanations. But if God is love, compassion, seeking beauty, joy and abundance for the whole creation, then something is wrong.  I knew in the depths of my being that God was loving; maybe I miscalculated the all-powerful part. It was what I’d been told, but was it true? Did it fit the God of the Bible and experience?

The funeral home death march was when I first heard the 20 horrible things people say about God — rehearsed lines in funeral lines (trying to protect God’s reputation or be helpful to you, but failing at both). “God wanted her with him” (so did we); “she’s in a better place” (being here with us was good enough); “God only takes the best” (wish she’d been a little worse); “God has a plan” (well this plan sucks); “God is teaching you a lesson” (the lesson will never be worth the cost because the teacher needs a better lesson plan)……. 

Nobody was being cruel — just thoughtless — mindlessly repeating what they’d heard even when it hadn’t helped them. Maybe there’s a better way; maybe we can find it together. One teaser from my friends I share with you — what if we replace omnipotence with amipotence — the power of love (Huey Lewis more than Celine Dion). Come and see.

What life experiences impacted your views about God? What answers do you seek for bad things happening to good people and good things happening to bad people? Where is one example of real love ever being controlling?

Posted on by Wallis Landrum (Wally) · 2 Comments

Shibboleth  103124

As a break from watching candidates’ speeches and interviews, we’ve been watching “West Wing” on HBO. That sentence may raise anxiety about my mental meds still working — they are. The season 2, Nov 22, 2000 Thanksgiving episode called “Shibboleth” is my favorite. I laugh at CJ’s turkeys; I tear up when President Bartlet entrusts Charlie with his carving knives passed from father to son; I am inspired by an obscure Biblical story from a catholic president’s character — the character displayed by the character portrayed.

A boatload of Chinese evangelical Christians arrive in California seeking asylum for being persecuted for their faith. How does anyone determine if they are sincere in their life-threatened beliefs or just saying pre-scripted words to get into this country? Bartlet cites the metaphor of “shibboleth”. In Judges 12:6 it was not just knowing the word meant “corn” or “river”. It was how you pronounced the word tested trust. The dialect difference between saying Shibboleth instead of Sibboleth let you know whose side you were on. 

There’s a man who bragged on tape he grabbed women’s genitals whether they like it or not because he’s the star…. who owes five million dollars to E. Jean Carol because an impartial jury believed legal evidence he sexually assaulted and defamed her whether she liked it or not….  who tried to use lies, intimidation, and violence to steal an election whether the majority of  voters liked it or not. Last night I heard that man promise: “I’ll protect women whether they like it or not.” That was the wrong speech — autonomous women needing autocratic patriarchal protection to make decisions for their lives. Maybe Sibboleth is a bunch of corn that floats down a river of shi…..bboleth.

Nine days ago, as a pastor and hospice chaplain I was interested in hearing the Vice-President’s answer to the CNN town hall questions on grief and her faith. “I pray every day; sometimes twice a day. I was raised in church to believe in a loving God, to believe that your faith is a verb — how you live your life, how you can serve in a way that is uplifting other people, caring for other people — that guides a lot of how I think about my work and what is important.” 

How do I know if that’s genuine or a script used to get in? Soon she said she called her pastor Amos Brown, the Sunday the president announced he would no longer seek the nomination. She said, “I just called him. I needed that spiritual kind of connection. I needed advice. I needed a prayer. There’s a part of the scripture that talks about Esther, ‘such a time as this,’ and that’s what we talked about. And it was very comforting for me.” Citing the Bible’s book of Esther and knowing Mordecai said to her, “Who knows if you’ve been placed here for such a time as this?” — that was true shibboleth for me.

What is your shibboleth? How do you determine who is genuine and trustworthy in your life? How do you measure yours and other’s words and actions?

Posted on by Wallis Landrum (Wally)

Tommy 102924

The first opera that spoke to me was “Tommy” by the Who. The wonderful words and moving music were in my native language of rock. In grade 7, after 6 nights of basement-blasting four sides of the LP, I’d spend 1 day in church and youth group. I noticed the same themes. Tommy, a “deaf, dumb, and blind boy”, seeking healing through the connection of “see me, hear me, touch me, feel me.” Jesus, healing the blind, deaf, and lame to open their eyes to see, unstop their ears to hear, get up and walk to follow and do something. Deaf/dumb/blind — blind/deaf/lame were drummed into my head by Keith Moon and the Rev. Dr. Bill Arnold.

Two sleeps ago, Michelle Obama helped me, a man, see, hear, touch, and feel the silent shamed struggles that all women go through. She opened her mouth to open eyes and ears to see and hear the cries of women who are suffering and dying today and whose healthcare is threatened by the future. She invited those with lame excuses to get up and do something. It’s not too late to spend the time of one quarter of a football game watching her full speech on YouTube.

If you have two football games of time, YouTube the same night’s radical rally at Madison Square Garden. To save time, the nine-minute 2017 documentary “A Night at the Garden” will be a revelation of the same words, themes, and location on Feb. 20, 1939. I learned from “Tommy” that power corrupts morality long before I learned it from Lord Acton.

A white christian nationalist called the Vice-President of the United States of America the anti-christ without any sense of earned respect or the two letters of John in the Bible. Another revealed how he sees all women: prostitutes supported by pimps. Tucker revealed radical racism without a border of decency. A deaf, dumb, and blind boy was too dumb to stay mute when he insulted 6 million American citizens from and in Puerto Rico days before an election that might be decided by a few thousand votes in a few states. A decade of indecency created this; when did this become ok?

The deception that he didn’t say it tries to blind us to the fact that the man who created, fomented, and sent this rhetoric into our land is same one who created, fomented, and sent an armed mob to violently overthrow our republic. The black maid Aibelene says to Miss Hilly in “The Help”: “Ain’t you tired, Miss Hilly? All you do is scare and lie to try and get what you want. You a Godless woman. Ain’t you tired, Miss Hilly?”

Two sleeps ago, when a squirrel was darting across the road back and forth as our car neared, my wife yelled, “Choose a side before you get run over!” Do you think it helped?

Posted on by Wallis Landrum (Wally) · 2 Comments

Abortion Silence Oct 28, 2024

My public church sermons center on the Bible. Since the Bible is silent on abortion, so was I. My leading inquisitive youth groups included “God’s gift of sexuality” materials. Our safe sharing focused more on committed relationships (plus STD and pregnancy prevention) than abortion; however, any written submission to the “question box” was discussed. In private counseling I walked with christian women through problem pregnancies. My questions helped them make their best choices because I trust women to do what is right. These writings have been called “Reflections and Questions” because in my experience, good questions help people discover the best answers for their lives within them.

When I was an associate pastor, I befriended a female associate rabbi. We had most of the Bible (and issues playing second fiddle) in common. She asked me, “Do you know a reason rabbis don’t protest women’s health clinics?” I said, “I guess rabbis ask questions rather than scream shameful statements.” She said, “Nice try. It’s because we study Torah (the first five books of the Hebrew Scriptures).” I asked, “What do you read there?” She taught me……

In the second story of creation, God forms the “earthling” out of the “earth” (Hebrew: Adam/man out of Adamah/ground). Genesis 2:7 — then “God breathed into his nostrils the breath of life and the man became a living being.” Life begins with the breath of life and ends when God’s breath leaves. In fact the name for God, Yah-weh (I am who I am), sounds like breathing. Yahweh — we breathe God’s name as long as we live. The possibility for life may begin at conception through gestation, but God tells us when life itself begins — the first breath of life.  

She then filled my silent reflection with more mundane Torah… Exodus 21:22-24 “When men who are fighting injure a pregnant woman so that there is a miscarriage, and the woman is not harmed, the one responsible shall be fined what the woman’s husband demands, paying as much as the judges determine. If the woman dies, then you shall give life for life.” Back when patriarchy viewed wives and children as property, causing a miscarriage was a monetary fine for the loss of a future possible child (not murder); the death of a woman was punished as taking a life; other harm to the woman was punished by equivalent recompense. The difference makes all the difference.

If you live in Missouri how will you decide on Amendment 3 to our state constitution that restores the reproductive rights an old law removed? How much do you trust women and physicians to make good decisions? How much do you trust outsiders seeking the power to control you? When have you experienced good intentions result in bad consequences?

Posted on by Wallis Landrum (Wally)

Could We Both Be Right? 10/23/24

Seventeen years ago when I was committed by the court to our psychiatric hospital, my psychologist sister arrived from Seattle as my first visitor. That morning I spent six hours of mania scrawling 43 pages on “Law and Gospel” which I commanded her to copy and distribute. She said, “Why don’t you trust me to do what’s best with this.” She was a check on my abuse of power.

As I returned to the floor, I told the charge nurse my sister had brought a suitcase with clean clothes. She made a phone call and said, “It’s not in the room yet. Check back later.” When I checked back, the nurse re-dialed the number and said, “There’s no suitcase in the room. Maybe you misunderstood your sister.”

After sitting in my stinking clothes for a while, I returned to the desk. “Ma’am, I know she brought a suitcase; I need clean clothes.” After dispatching an aid to investigate, the nurse explained: “If your sister had brought a suitcase, it would have been searched and placed in our storage room. It’s not there. Sit down. I need to finish these charts.”

I sat down and pondered calling her “Nurse Ratched” although she hadn’t really earned the title. How does a manic mental patient convince the charge nurse that his reality is real? I recalled that Jesus asked powerful questions in response to challenges and arguments.

Believing it was my last chance, I stood at the desk and asked as calmly as I could, “Is there any way we could both be right? In fact, while you’re charting, would you chart that I asked, you ‘Could we both be right?’” Her frustrated face changed to pondering. She dialed a different number, smiled, and said, “Your suitcase was put on the wrong floor. I’ll get it.”

I abhor the dichotomy of 2 choices in a political election every 2, 4, or 6 years. I enjoy conversations where we can share our different desires and find ways to meet our goals. I love listening to different experiences, insights, perspectives, seeking solutions. I relish both/and (not either/or) answers, where we can both be right. But here we are with the civic responsibility to make a dichotomous decision.

How do you listen to needs and desires of others in reaching solutions? When have you experienced situations where “we both are right?” When have you had to make a clear choice?

Posted on by Wallis Landrum (Wally) · 2 Comments

Dietrich Bonhoeffer  Oct 21 2024

My study of German language & history in college and my study of christianity in seminary came together in one hero: Dietrich Bonhoeffer. At the age of 27, January 1933, two days after Hitler was installed as Chancellor, pastor and teacher Bonhoeffer delivered a radio address in which he warned Germany against “slipping into an idolatrous cult of the Führer (leader), who could very well turn out to be Verführer (misleader, seducer)” before his broadcast was cut off. 

I was transformed by Dietrich Bonhoeffer’s 1937 seminal book “The Cost of Discipleship” (Nachfolge – following) which contains: “cheap grace is the preaching of forgiveness without requiring repentance, baptism without church discipline, communion without confession. Cheap grace is grace without discipleship, grace without taking the cross, grace without Jesus Christ, living and incarnate.” 

The “German Evangelical Church” (Deutsche Evangelische Kirche) revealed just how costly cheap grace can be. As they became the German Christian movement, the evangelical church followed Hitler’s demand (with the threat of violence) that Nazi doctrine be preached by all 18,000 pastors to unify the 45 million protestants in Germany — religion supporting fascism.

Bonhoeffer and others resisted Hitler’s control of the church with their “Confessing Church Movement.” In 1934 the Barmen Declaration (written by theologian Karl Barth) said that Christ is the Head of the Church, not the Führer (leader). The Barmen Declaration remains in our presbyterian church’s “Book of Confessions” in case that question ever came up again. 20% of church leaders took the risk of following Jesus. God only knows why 80% chose Hitler as their Führer (leader) instead of Yahweh. Popular rarely equals righteous.

After leading underground seminaries (forbidden to speak in public), on the 10th anniversary of his radio address about a dictator on day one, he was imprisoned as an enemy from within. Four weeks before Germany’s surrender, Dietrich Bonhoeffer was executed in Flossenbürg Concentration Camp on April 9, 1945. His last book, “Letters and Papers from Prison” was published seven years later to inspire future generations.

If you’d like to learn more, Home Brewed Christianity is in the midst of an excellent online course and podcast called “The Rise of Bonhoeffer”. There’s a new movie about him coming soon. What bells of the past do you hear ringing today? What risks are you taking with your secret ballot?

Posted on by Wallis Landrum (Wally) · 1 Comment

Our Ball  Oct 18, 2024

I have enjoyed supporting our town’s 2-year community college basketball programs. Men and women coming together to visit, smile, and cheer for our men and women players. Our seats are close enough to be heard by players and refs. Sitting right under the basket as an opposing player attempted a free throw sporting a tattoo that read “Keisha”, one fan yelled, “Hey Rodney, what you gonna do with that tattoo when Keisha dumps your ass?” That shot made him miss his shot.

While our players only last 2 years, our refs work our circuit for a decade. One ref grew up in the area, was a popular friend to many, and had family associated with the college. With so much possible bias, I was amazed how fairly he called the games. While my bias could skew my conclusion, fact was, the usual complaints were evenly distributed between the two coaches.

One scout for a 4-year college was invited to our watering hole after a game. When he saw the ref sharing in the revelry, he asked, “Do you always go drinking with the refs after your games?” “Only if we win” was the quick reply. But the line we never let that ref live down was the one time the other team threw the ball out of bounds and he called, “OUR BALL.” 

We kept laughing at “our ball” through that loss as we watched players shake hands with the other team. Our ego wasn’t shattered, because we knew one loss didn’t make us losers. We didn’t vow violent retribution to the other school; we used lessons learned and teamwork to get ready for the next game.

“Our ball” was funny until a losing president keeps repeating the lie that “our side” was peacefully protesting with one death while nothing happened to “their side”. (Ironic aside — Jan 6th  is the church’s annual “day of Epiphany”; epiphany means the revealing of one’s inner nature). “Their side” are law enforcement officers, 150 of whom were injured by beatings, pepper-bear-wasp sprays, and the trauma of 3 hours of hand to hand combat which resulted in deaths and suicides. “Our side” was a violent mob he summoned and sent to steal an election he lost. “Our side” includes 1,516 citizens charged with federal crimes — so far 1200 guilty, 1000 sentenced, 3 acquitted, and 12 dismissed. 

When you get to be the referee, whose side are you on?

Posted on by Wallis Landrum (Wally) · 3 Comments

Project 1525  Oct 16, 2024

As a follower of the actions and teachings of the Jewish rabbi Jesus of Nazareth, my denominational flavor by birth and by choice is Presbyterian. “Presbyterian” is the New Testament Greek word for ELDER – “Presbuteros”. Elders seek together to discern God’s will in the Presbyterian Church (USA). Elders are not just old men; elders are men and women elected by churches because of their wisdom and their servant leadership to discern and do the ministry and mission of the church with others.

500 years ago, John Calvin of Geneva wrote his playbook. It was not called “Project 1525”; it was “The Institutes of the Christian Religion”. Because of sin, he did not trust one person with too much power. In his day the papal institution had total immunity to arrest and persecute any enemy who disagreed with their autocratic authority. They didn’t need the supreme court; they had the Holy Roman Empire – the First Reich (before Hitler’s Third Reich). 

Even more, because of sin, Calvin did not trust the masses to make informed decisions. His masses could be conned to believe anything. Before printed copies, they were told by their church in Latin what the Bible said without reading it themselves. Yet I don’t think he’d ever imagine social media today convincing the masses that outlandish lies are true. (Joseph Goebbles showed, “repeat a lie enough and a mass of people will believe it’s true”).

Rather than a top/down or a bottom/up system of church government, Calvin proposed something new. Elected elders would pray, share different perspectives and ideas, and come together to discern the best way forward. Our American experiment was so similar that King George III wrote “sister America has run off with a presbyterian parson.”

For 67 years I’ve been amazed how true those ideals are. As the pastor, I’ve had bad ideas that were corrected by the wisdom of teamwork. I’ve been against ideas our elders adopted that I was persuaded to support with transparent and transformative discussion and a majority vote. Brilliant ideas that weren’t there when we gathered came from a team of rivals working together. It would have been disastrous if I alone were in charge, or if we polled people on everything. 

Because we had a team of strong and wise elders, the church thrived when I went insane 17 years ago. I wonder, what would happen to our American experiment if a man with psychological problems, possible dementia, and a history of abuse to get his way became the sole autocrat? Who has been a team of wise elders of all ages discerning the best way forward in your life? 

Posted on by Wallis Landrum (Wally) · 1 Comment

Delusions 101424

During my seminary class in pastoral care the professor said, “My first assignment in Clinical Pastoral Education at a mental hospital was to talk the patients out of their delusions. All of us failed that assignment; some of us took longer to give up. If you’re under the delusion that a rational argument will sway a delusional person, then I can give you the same assignment.”  I’m reflecting on that lesson on this 17th anniversary of my being committed to Mid-MO mental hospital after my first (and only) Bi-Polar One manic psychotic break with reality. 

On this day in 2007, when I called my sister to inform her that I was in charge of resetting the economy like the Jubilee Year that Jesus proclaimed, fifty years of being my sister and thirty years of being a psychologist came together in tears. After I hung up, she called my wife to inform her I was manic and nothing could talk me down. She told her to shelter our son safely in another home, to have someone with me at all times so I didn’t disappear, and to pray that I would do something bad enough to get committed for treatment, but not bad enough that I ruined the rest of my life. That was a very fine line to walk, but that prayer was answered fully.

Medication treated my delusions, counseling helped me deal with stressful antagonists, spiritual direction taught me practices for grieving, and nine months of disability let me rest to return to ministry in my old church as a new pastor. I can only imagine the damage I might have done if I had enablers who gave me power as they tried to say my delusions were real. I am glad for those who challenged my lies, and for our rule of law that allowed a judge who was and is my friend to sign my committal papers to get me the help I needed to be who I am today.

What is your experience with a person struggling with mental illness and seeking mental health? Describe a time you struggled to rationally talk another person out of their delusions? Who has helped you grow into a better person?

Posted on by Wallis Landrum (Wally)

Patrol Boy 101124

Last night we started watching the 2012 documentary on Ethel Kennedy. This afternoon we learned she just died at the age of 96. Eerie. While giving thanks for my heroes working for justice and racial equality during my childhood, I also thought of being a patrol boy; weird; here’s why.

A week after being chosen to be a patrol boy, during my training in June, I heard Sen. Kennedy had been shot; the news wouldn’t sink in for several years. When I started my year serving as a patrol boy, I was given the responsibility of helping Chenoweth Elementary kids safely cross Brownsboro Road — the four-lane state Highway 42 in Louisville’s east end. 

I liked the power and prestige that went with being chosen to be a patrol boy. When I felt like it, I could push the cross button to change the light and stop all the traffic on Hwy 42. I would tell the kids when to cross. I loved the sense of control over others I had. I loved the look of my patrol boy outfit with a white belt across my waist and shoulder and a silver badge with AAA on it. (I thought it was something super cool like A plus plus.)

Soon enough I learned that being chosen is not easy. The few sunny fall days became the many rain, sleet, snow days. I had to get there early, stay late, and be responsible. But at least I wasn’t alone; I always had the other patrol boy assigned to that crossing by my side.

People of faith often talk about being chosen for their spiritual journey. I now know that being chosen isn’t easy. It isn’t about the control, the power, the badge, or the certificate in the end. We are chosen to serve —  to do our part each day to make the crossings of others safer and better with our presence.  We are chosen not because we are better, but to be better.

When have you experienced the honor of being chosen before learning how much responsibility you would have? How have you helped others cross dangerous paths on their journeys? What rewards do you receive in loving and serving others with empathy and compassion?