I returned home from college for my 21st birthday. Our family spent the day burying my cousin who was senselessly killed at 24 when a speeding car ran a stop sign. That was the day I began to let go of God being omnipotent (omni=all, complete, total + potent=power, influence, effect).
How could an all-powerful and all-loving God allow my cousin to be killed? She was a devoted Christian on her way to teach aphasia stroke patients how to speak again; she had a lot to live for and a lot of empathy, compassion, joy, and love to share.
If God is an uncaring, greedy, manipulative, vindictive, authoritative tyrant then we need no further explanations. But if God is love, compassion, seeking beauty, joy and abundance for the whole creation, then something is wrong. I knew in the depths of my being that God was loving; maybe I miscalculated the all-powerful part. It was what I’d been told, but was it true? Did it fit the God of the Bible and experience?
The funeral home death march was when I first heard the 20 horrible things people say about God — rehearsed lines in funeral lines (trying to protect God’s reputation or be helpful to you, but failing at both). “God wanted her with him” (so did we); “she’s in a better place” (being here with us was good enough); “God only takes the best” (wish she’d been a little worse); “God has a plan” (well this plan sucks); “God is teaching you a lesson” (the lesson will never be worth the cost because the teacher needs a better lesson plan)…….
Nobody was being cruel — just thoughtless — mindlessly repeating what they’d heard even when it hadn’t helped them. Maybe there’s a better way; maybe we can find it together. One teaser from my friends I share with you — what if we replace omnipotence with amipotence — the power of love (Huey Lewis more than Celine Dion). Come and see.
What life experiences impacted your views about God? What answers do you seek for bad things happening to good people and good things happening to bad people? Where is one example of real love ever being controlling?
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Having lost both my parents five months apart when I was 16, I can attest, I’ve heard them all too. When I had no where else, God was my refuge…an ever present help, along with some very compassionate friends who pulled me in.
I’m so grateful you found a compassionate God and received compassionate friends to get you through your early and continuing experiences.
I have never seen God as an omnipotent entity. My early understanding of God was similar to my understanding of my father. His job required that he spend most week days away from home, returning only for the weekends. Nevertheless, he was deeply attached to his family and we could all feel his love. We knew that he was there for us, but could not protect us directly from day to day dangers. As I have grown older my concept of God has undergone constant review and these days I understand God in a manner of non-realism similar to Don Cupitt and Sir Lloyd Geering, but nonetheless a God that one can experience and listen to. Perhaps I understand God as being the metaphorical embodiment of all that I value most strongly.
I can also say that I struggle to remember any conversation with friends or family where the loss of a loved one has been viewed as part of “God’s plan” and for that I’m grateful. Perhaps it’s a case of selective memory or perhaps more likely that the forms of Christianity I’ve encountered are at the liberal/progressive end of the Christian spectrum. I became a Quaker in the liberal unprogrammed tradition as my children reached their teens, and no doubt that has had some influence on my religious experiences.
thank you for sharing. my experience of my father also leads to my view of God; giving freedom; allowing consequences; loving no matter what; seeking good for everyone in generosity. omnipotence is something many of us have to deconstruct before we can construct a better reality; for others like you, it was never there to deconstruct.
yes be grateful for not having to endure “God’s plan” explanations. we can say and do some of the worst things with the best of intentions. i’m so glad you are part of this community
I’m so dismayed with what’s going on in our country and world, that I don’t even believe in a god right now, and that makes me feel guilty. I don’t know what to do. I’ll keep going to church for community.
Many who deconstruct an insufficient faith in order to reconstruct deeper meaning and purpose take a break from church. This can be so hard to leave. Some find different communities. May you seek and find what is yours to do