Project 1525  Oct 16, 2024

As a follower of the actions and teachings of the Jewish rabbi Jesus of Nazareth, my denominational flavor by birth and by choice is Presbyterian. “Presbyterian” is the New Testament Greek word for ELDER – “Presbuteros”. Elders seek together to discern God’s will in the Presbyterian Church (USA). Elders are not just old men; elders are men and women elected by churches because of their wisdom and their servant leadership to discern and do the ministry and mission of the church with others.

500 years ago, John Calvin of Geneva wrote his playbook. It was not called “Project 1525”; it was “The Institutes of the Christian Religion”. Because of sin, he did not trust one person with too much power. In his day the papal institution had total immunity to arrest and persecute any enemy who disagreed with their autocratic authority. They didn’t need the supreme court; they had the Holy Roman Empire – the First Reich (before Hitler’s Third Reich). 

Even more, because of sin, Calvin did not trust the masses to make informed decisions. His masses could be conned to believe anything. Before printed copies, they were told by their church in Latin what the Bible said without reading it themselves. Yet I don’t think he’d ever imagine social media today convincing the masses that outlandish lies are true. (Joseph Goebbles showed, “repeat a lie enough and a mass of people will believe it’s true”).

Rather than a top/down or a bottom/up system of church government, Calvin proposed something new. Elected elders would pray, share different perspectives and ideas, and come together to discern the best way forward. Our American experiment was so similar that King George III wrote “sister America has run off with a presbyterian parson.”

For 67 years I’ve been amazed how true those ideals are. As the pastor, I’ve had bad ideas that were corrected by the wisdom of teamwork. I’ve been against ideas our elders adopted that I was persuaded to support with transparent and transformative discussion and a majority vote. Brilliant ideas that weren’t there when we gathered came from a team of rivals working together. It would have been disastrous if I alone were in charge, or if we polled people on everything. 

Because we had a team of strong and wise elders, the church thrived when I went insane 17 years ago. I wonder, what would happen to our American experiment if a man with psychological problems, possible dementia, and a history of abuse to get his way became the sole autocrat? Who has been a team of wise elders of all ages discerning the best way forward in your life? 

Frau Herzog 101024

During the summer of the birth of Star Wars and the death of Elvis my first best man and I were welcomed into Frau Herzog’s apartment at 19 Untergasse in Wien (Vienna, Austria). She survived off annual Emory tuition paid to her. She only spoke German. She only complained when we left the shower running for a second too long between on-quick soak-off-lather-on-quick rinse-off. I continue that practice as I recall her conservation born out of poverty. A daily breakfast was included, but she was so generous with her food that we smuggled fruit and granola to feed fellow students famished by wealthier hosts.

One particular night she talked until dawn — one of those sacred experiences of connection that are too rare. She shared the suffering from the consequences of her war — her community searching amidst devastation for scraps of food. In the wee hours with my immature German, I couldn’t fully translate every word, but her eyes spoke with sighs too deep for words. 

As she ended her soul-bearing to begin cooking breakfast, she went to the beginning. She was a young adult for the 1938 Anschluss (“joining”) when Hitler forced the unification of Germany and Austria (their split was forced 20 years before after losing WW1). The promise of one man who could fix the economy, purify and protect the elite race, establish one religion, and make his realm (“Reich”) great again was so popular that a vote to unify was scheduled for March 13 in Austria. Not trusting a fair election, Hitler marched his German troops across the border the day before. A month later, Frau Herzog “voted” in the delayed election to approve the Anschluss with German troops observing her visible ballot. 

Whenever I safely and secretly vote my conscience, I think of how she couldn’t.

If you’re a person of faith, what feeds your joy, hope, and compassion for everything and everyone on this planet? If you’re an American citizen, how do you treat the gift of the freedom to vote? Where do you get your information to be responsible for your freedom?

Betrayal 10-03-2024

Her name was Leslie? I seldom mention names in these reflections, but it may have been fake. She sprung into my frat house the spring of my sophomore year at Emory. For weeks, we shared several socials together until I left for summer study in Vienna, Austria. Upon my return in the fall, I fell into two betrayals.

The first was a feared betrayal that wasn’t. The fraternal code was broken by a brother seeking to oversee Leslie’s availability — while I was unavailable overseas. Like Jacob to his brother Esau, he was afraid of how I might react to being betrayed. I told the three friends sent to “confess on his behalf” that I really had no claim on or plans for a relationship. I trusted women to make decisions about their lives.

The betrayal that didn’t matter resulted in the one that did. I was told that Leslie lied to me. He wanted to protect me with his discovery that she was in high school, not college; she lived at home, not an apartment, and on and on. I didn’t want to believe it. How could I have been so gullible? What kind of person would lie repeatedly? What was her motive? Experiencing someone who knows the truth while repeatedly lying dispelled my naïveté.

Some of her statements that had seemed a little off, now began to make sense. My ego-protecting denial eroded, as my pride crumbled. Everyone knew I had been conned; they saw the usurper as the better investigator. I wonder how that experience influenced my future visceral reactions to religious and political leaders who confidently con followers with deception. I hope my embarrassment helped my compassion for other people — I wouldn’t want to waste the pain.

When have you realized someone had been lying to you? How did you react? What actions ended or restored your trust? How long did it take to move forward?

Healthy Congregations 092424

For several decades I’ve been trained in and I’ve been a consultant for “Healthy Congregations”. I’ve helped churches apply insights from Murray Bowen’s and Rabbi Ed Friedman’s family systems theory to open their eyes to how a community system functions. The leader’s response to anxious situations determines whether the system promotes health or destructive chaos. I’ve seen various churches “from both sides now” based on the leader’s style.

Today I received a bookmark from Peter L. Steinke’s healthycongregations.com to remind me of the seven responses that promote health in anxious situations. To promote health……

  1. Focus on managing self, not others
  2. Focus on strength, not weakness
  3. Focus on challenge, not comfort
  4. Focus on integrity, not unity
  5. Focus on process, not content
  6. Focus on system, not symptom
  7. Focus on direction, not condition

You may have questions about or want clarification for some of these brief reminders (my mantras). I’d be happy to share insights on the importance of each one, along with stories where each focus promoted health, or where each “not” allowed cancers to spread like a pandemic in a church. 

If you’ve been in any flavor of a religious community, where have you seen the level of maturity of the leader lower the level of anxiety in that system? How might you apply the seven foci of an effective leader in choosing the person you want to lead your community, your state, or your nation? 

Miracles 091324

After my post “With God on Our Side” on Sept. 4, I’ve been asked if saying “God saved Trump from assassination” breaks the 3rd commandment – You shall not use God’s name in vain. Was it a miracle? I don’t know. I’m glad he wasn’t another casualty of our children whose parents arm better than combat soldiers. Trump did turn to lie about a misleading graphic as the shot only hit his ear — did it help him listen? I don’t know.

I do know this from comforting those who grieve. God doesn’t stop a bullet, grab the wheel from an impaired driver, or pull the innocent off a cross. God allows our choices and God allows us to suffer the consequences of our choices. God grieves with us even when we take no responsibility for our deeds. 

I do know this from personal experience. When God acts in my life, I see a transformation; I see a change, an improvement that lasts more than a few hours. We all see hope, joy, love, peace, resurrection, compassion, justice, empathy whenever God acts in our world and lives..

I do know this from scripture. God tells Elijah: Don’t look for me in enormous earthquakes or violent winds, or consuming fires. I’m not there. Listen for me in the silence, the still small voice. (1 Kings 19).

Maybe, maybe God’s action was in the small act of our nation’s president Biden getting Covid. When Covid forced him to stop “running” and listen to the still small voice of God and advisors to focus on the remainder of his presidency and pass the mantle to Kamala Harris, was that a miracle? I don’t know. But I wonder. Do you see any signs of transformation, resurrection, hope, joy, unity, empathy, and love? That’s usually a good sign God’s involved.

When have you been transformed by God acting through your suffering beyond your control? What signs do you look for to see God at work in the world? When do you listen in silence to the still small voice of God?

Snakes on a Plane 090924

The evening of August 19, I had an interesting experience flying home on Delta airlines. There were videos on the back of each seat with headphones. Each passenger could choose to watch live TV, listen to music, see a game or many movies. Being the first night of the Democratic National Convention, I wanted to hear some speeches after watching the Republican Convention three weeks before. 

I chose a channel from a news source that showed what was actually going on. Other screens I could see from other seats had Fox on. While I listened to Coach Steve Kerr talk about the Olympics, teamwork, and the attributes of a positive leader, the Fox screens only showed Hannity talking — before a screen of buildings burning while Trump was president. Then Fox showed a long-shot image of crowds at the convention while Hannity and Ingraham continued their conversation over every speaker I heard. 

I wonder if commentators were telling congregants what was being said instead of “letting” you “judge for yourself” by actually listening. I wonder if it’s like pastors who tell you what the Bible says when they don’t like you to see what is in the Bible. Could showing an image of a convention hall allow Fox to say “they covered the convention”? After we landed I wondered if Fox showed US Senator Raphael Warnock’s “sermon” or Jamie Raskin’s insights to Trump’s actions in the weeks before and on the day of Jan. 6 trying to steal an election he lost.

Where do you see divisions based on differences in people’s sources of information? How do you try to overcome confirmation bias (being only comfortable with information that confirms what you already believe)? How do you burst your bubble to discover what information is true? 

Labor Day  Sept. 2, 2024

Once I thought of it, I tried to thank my mom each Labor Day; her labor gave me life. Although she died in 1998 I still say thank you for my life and life lessons, but I struggle to find just the right words without Hallmark making manufactured “Labor Day” Cards.

The morning of her labor in 1997, my wife and I labored to find just the right words of appreciation for our son’s birthmother. Hallmark didn’t have pre-written birthmother cards, so we had to express our own feelings with “sighs too deep for words”.

Her extended family were so supportive of our adoption that they gave our son a baby shower on his “birth” day. Their hospital room overflowed with her family, love, gifts, and support. We also gave our son’s birth mother caffeine sodas, skinny clothes, love and appreciation. We maintained contact through the adoption agency so that twice a year we thanked her with letters and pictures. After ten years, we helped out son begin to write years of thank-you notes about his life.

I would much rather write her the thank you notes than a questionable judge or intrusive politician. I am thankful she chose life, and I am thankful she had the freedom to choose. I am more than grateful that when she had a constitutional right to choose, she made the choice she did. How would we thank her if the decision were forced upon her? Would our son have entered the world with resentment instead of love?

When have you impacted another person’s life with a difficult choice you made? How much do you trust others to make good choices in their lives? Where do you spend most of your energy – trying to control other lives, or working on your own?

Right to Pray Right Aug 28, 2024

At 17 I asked myself whether God had spared my church and my home when the 4/3/74 tornado did damage all around both. Had I done something right to be rewarded? Had others suffered God’s wrathful punishment? Should I thank God for sparing “me and my house” who serve the Lord our way, while punishing those outside my “tribe”? Is it just to pray, “Thank you God for sparing me and destroying them”?

When I read Matthew 5, I see that God gives the sun’s warmth and the rain’s nourishment to the just and the unjust, the nice and the nasty alike. God doesn’t play favorites and neither should I by only loving the lovable. 

As a teacher of “Becoming a Love and Logic Parent” I learned that allowing consequences to befall behavior is more effective than rewards and punishments. I came to believe that God’s ways are not transactional – the art of the deal. God’s ways are relational – compassionately suffering with us as we learn and mature through the consequences of our choices.

I am thankful that I have the right to pray anywhere, anytime. I am thankful I have the right not to be preyed upon by those who force their prayers on me. I seek to use my right to pray to pray right. When I request something from God, I talk to God about how it might affect others.

A rabbi’s deep wisdom asked me a question, “If you are heading home, and you see smoke coming from your neighborhood, is it ethical to pray, ‘O God, don’t let it be my house.’”

How do you answer the rabbi’s question? Where do you see God portrayed as punishing us BY our sin (consequences) instead of FOR our sin (retribution)? Which God are you drawn to?

At Seventeen  August 26, 2024

“At Seventeen” (a year before the song) seventy tornados swept through several states on Wednesday April 3, 1974. By Sunday we still didn’t have electricity, food, or water. We went to  the church of my youth to meet our most basic needs — imagine that.

During worship I sat by my latest hero, Major Mott of the Salvation Army. I sat among strangers in a sanctuary where I usually knew everyone. Worship did not focus on the carnage of Rolling Fields, Crescent Hill, Indian Hills, or Northfield, but on the hope of people coming together and working together to do something for the future. Everyone was welcomed to share in the meal of communion — a thanksgiving remembrance with bread and wine.

Moving into Fellowship Hall, we sat around tables eating sandwiches. Sandwiches….. all we seemed to ever see were sandwiches. We were tired of making so many sandwiches; we were “fed up to here” with eating sandwiches. Yet, we were “well fed” by sandwiches. The community had blossomed beyond the sanctuary walls. I sat with a friend who attended synagogue the day before. “Another damned sandwich” suddenly tasted sacred. 

After those two communions, when I looked out on my neighborhood, nothing had changed. I could still see my house unblocked by blown away trees. I could see the devastation of other homes. Nothing had changed, but I had changed. I had stopped, prayed, worshipped, and shared two communions with strangers and friends — now neighbors. I would not be the same again.

Tell a story to someone about when you left a service of worship different than when you arrived. When has an ordinary meal been transformed into sacred space for you? What life events invited your transformation and how did you respond? 

Love Can Build a Bridge 08-20-24

This week, Nancy and I were blessed to travel with 24 Missouri friends to Grand Cayman. We had arranged our days around Paul & Julie Overstreet as he gave private performances at each sunset — on the beach, in a bar, on a sailboat. I knew many songs Paul wrote, but I learned that he co-wrote with Naomi Judd and John Barlow Thomas “Love Can Build a Bridge”.

I told Paul that when I heard about the Judds farewell concert in 1991 and Naomi’s hepatitis C that was making her weak and her lifespan uncertain, I watched it live on TV (now on YouTube). The last song was Naomi’s farewell: “love can build a bridge between your heart and mine, love can build a bridge, don’t you think it’s time.” 

When a choir came out and Wynonna belted out the “bridge” to the song: “When we stand together, it’s our finest hour; we can do anything, keep believin’ in the power,” I lost it. I sat in front a TV with two singers I didn’t know and a song I’d never heard before, and I wept slobbering tears. Maybe it was their authenticity, the beauty of the song, the ill farewell, my marriage bridge crumbling.

Just before saying, “It’s been quite a ride,” Naomi reassured her daughter with the words: “I believe in love; and I believe in hope” and she looked up to God; that only added to my flowing waters, because I still believe in love over indifference and hope over despair.

As a caring human being, I don’t trust people who build walls of separation and tear down others with cruel attacks. As a disciple of Jesus, I seek to be a bridge builder recalling that faith, hope, and love can build a bridge, because we can do anything, anything when we stand together…. don’t you think it’s time?

Which song moved you the first time you heard it? (I invite you to share your story with a person you trust.) When have you been fully present to an event that was so authentic you felt a part of that community? How are you seeking to stand together with others to be love’s bridge builder.